Aye-aye – Madagascar
What a cutie patootie! Who wouldn’t fall for those beady green eyeballs and “please kill me now” facial expression? The only thing better than snuggling one of these guys at bedtime is waking up to one staring directly into your eyes, knowing you’ve already been drained of your life-force.
Naked Mole Rat – East Africa
What’s not to love about an animal that resembles human male genitalia? Particularly when it has the added bonus of fangs? These critters make great pets AND Sex Ed demonstration tools. Look out gerbils!
Kea – New Zealand
The Kea looks like it’s gasping for air. Or already dead. This scrofulous birdy is the perfect companion for anyone who needs to start the day knowing they’re better off than someone, or something, else.
Tarsier – The Philippines
Imagine waking up in the middle of the night to this face; these little hands reaching out to caress your face in the dark. So soothing! So helpful!
Scorpion – All Continents Except Antarctica
These scorpions are so white and pure. They’re whiter than a first Holy Communion dress. They’re just little marshmallow flavored jelly beans! Cuddle party!!! #we❤scorplings
Echidnas – Australia and New Guinea
Echidnas are the only living mammals that lay eggs! That’s pretty cool. Echidnas are also the only mammals that camouflage themselves as depressed potatoes with razor stubble and conjunctivitis. Very effective!
Fangtooth – Temperate and Tropical Oceans Worldwide
Tiny fish eggs become a slightly less tiny fish. I mean, it’s just so little! Look at his big, little eyes! How could something this sweet grow into a horrifying, deep-sea-dwelling angler fish?