Ever since I was asked to write a review of MTV’s Geordie Shore, it seems to have flicked on a switch within my brain that craves trash TV, and MTV fulfills them cravings! Offering a neverending selection of shit television, there is one show that I recently just can’t get away from, thanks to social media — Just Tattoo of Us.

Just Tattoo of Us is a show that welcomes family, couples and friends to design a tattoo for one another in confidence. The brilliant idea behind the show, however, is the applicants only get to see their new ink once it’s actually been tattooed permanently onto their skin, in front of cameras for the entire nation to see.

British television being British television, the show features plenty of over the top reactions and out of control tempers. Hosted by Geordie Shore’s Charlotte Crosby and now ex-boyfriend and TV personality Stephen Bear, who probably isn’t famous for any actual accomplishments.

The show has had two seasons, somehow. Its third has begun broadcast, but this time Charlotte will be co-hosting with fellow Geordie Scott Timlin, following the rather expected break-up from Stephen. I’m happy to see via Instagram that they’ve both swiftly moved on and are now in separate, happily committed relationships. £10 says these new romances will be over within a month.

Anyway, Just Tattoo of Us consists of snappy episodes that show different pairs having their chance to pretty much ruin their partner’s lives, forever, with such disastrous tattoos as:

  • A hot brand style tattoo reading “SLUT” in angry red letters on a woman’s behind
  • A ball and chain tattoo on an ankle to symbolise a “disastrous” marriage, according to a so-called best friend
  • A cartoon-style list of sexually transmitted diseases around a man’s crotch
  • A tattoo labelling the individual as property of their partner
  • Donald Trump. That is all.
  • A rather realistic and graphic tattoo in the inner thigh of a woman of a hand inserting a tampon
  • An Arsenal fan receives a Spurs football club badge on his chest
  • A dildo. Again, that is all.

These are a mere few examples of the tattoo ideas from these so-called “friends” and “couples,” all of which have been permanently inked onto their bodies for life. Some may call it “banter,” or just “having a sense of humour,” but personally the airing of this show has taken it a step too far.

I will put my hands up and admit, the revealing of the terrible tats delivers some mild entertainment, in the sense of these idiots losing their shit at one another like they honestly didn’t expect anything bad at all. But the creation of this show has allowed these awful human beings to potentially ruin their friend’s lives with offensive and derogatory permanent tattoos. Well, they have certainly pissed each other off, that goes without saying!

The hosts of the show certainly don’t help the heated situations either. Whilst Charlotte Crosby half-heartedly trying to pick up the pieces of the crying young girl with a dildo tattooed on her thigh, Stephen Bear just stands there in mock shock repeatedly saying “fuck” and “oh my god.”

I don’t really buy it, and I honestly don’t understand how the rest of the British public do. Without a doubt, this show needs to get the hell off our screens.

Putting aside the encouragement of spiteful and petty friendships and the sense of revenge, Just Tattoo of Us is a cheap and tasteless attempt of British television. Please, for the love of God, let’s not make getting a huge tattoo of Donald Trump a thing. Please.

About Author

Emily Puckering is a Hull born English Language and Journalism graduate living in Manchester. Loves anything borderline 'loser' including progressive rock and drinks around seven cups of tea a day. Very much dislikes revolving doors and having her 5ft tall height ever so repeatedly commented on.

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