As anybody living here in the UK will be aware, Geordie Shore is truly the phenomenon that gives the North of England such a bad name. The binge drinking, drug-taking, swearing, fighting, unprotected sex… undoubtedly these behaviours displayed on the show certainly give off terrible first impressions. But as a nation, we just can’t get enough.
When my editor, Dan Bukszpan, asked me to write up a review of Geordie Shore and, in his own words, said, “unless you have major moral objections in doing so,” I was more than happy to give the MTV reality show a little ponder. With myself not being a loyal follower of the show, I thought I’d begin by doing a little research into how the Geordies came about.
Geordie Shore first aired in 2011, initially created as the UK counterpart to Jersey Shore, which my stateside compatriots reviewed here. “Geordie” is the regional nickname given to people of the Tyneside area of England — hence the creative title of the show.
Based in Newcastle and the surrounding areas, the show follows a group of housemates living in a plush apartment, basically sleeping with one another and drinking themselves to death. What’s not to like?
The most recent return of the Geordies is season sixteen which was aired earlier this year. I’m going to be honest, as a human being who hasn’t lost any brain cells due to religiously following the show, I’m rather confused as to who is actually still starring in this season. So to prevent any confusion for myself and my fellow Z readers, I will be referring to the fifth season of Geordie Shore from 2013; purely because I know the names of the cast in these particular episodes.
Season five stars Geordie veterans Charlotte Crosby, Vicky Pattison, Holly Hagan, Scott Timlin, Gary (Gaz) Beadle and James Tindale. After watching a few of the “best” moments from this season, which included a wild getaway to Amsterdam, it’s easy to say I wasn’t surprised by the Geordies’ antics, and as Dan Thomas summed up, he’s just going to “fuck birds and generally, just be a legend.”
Drama is never far around the corner for the loose bunch, so here is a quick summary of highlights from what I have just watched:
- Charlotte and Gaz break up, then end up having sex. Again.
- The group take part in traditional Czech dancing in Prague.
- Charlotte and Gaz have an argument in a nightclub. Again.
- Dan gets a sandwich thrown at him when leaving the nightclub.
- Charlotte uses the kitchen sink as a toilet.
- Numerous action shots of the lads in the gym.
- Numerous action shots of people having sex.
- Charlotte and Gaz share a bed. Again.
To summarise the show in a simple sentence, Geordie Shore basically consists of throwing the loosest and most hotheaded group of people from Newcastle into a house together, along with a bottle of vodka and a packet of condoms. It seems to follow a rather strict script of night out after night out, using alcohol to fuel and create the drama that MTV will be paying the group for, no doubt.
But from the endless nights out, fights, tears, love rivalries, one-night stands and shots of tequila, Geordie Shore is that guilty pleasure that is no doubt entertainment gold. The show has given fame and success to a group of working class Geordies, most of whom are now international celebrities. Despite its rather irresponsible message of binge drinking and casual sex, one finds it hard to mask the soft spot for the Geordies’ antics.
Whether one watches or not, Geordie Shore is guaranteed to at least crack a smile. It’s cheap and it’s tacky; but that’s what us Brits just love to hate about reality TV.