If you hate yourself just enough to watch Jersey Shore, I’m right there with you. Call me a glutton for punishment, but I love the ridiculous antics and alcohol-fueled misadventures of this group of goofballs.

The original Jersey Shore premiered on MTV in 2009 so, as a then-college student, I unwittingly fell right into their key demographic. I was in the right place at the right time to nosedive into some silly reality show madness.

I, like many others, was hooked from the get-go. They were living a completely different life than I was living, what with the night clubs, hours preparing their appearance to go to said night clubs, all the crazy shit that went down at the night clubs, and the near religiousity of “GTL” — gym, tan, laundry. I had to know what would happen next. I’m not big into reality TV but when it comes to Jersey Shore, I’ll fist pump with the best of them.

After a brief hiatus, the gang is back and tanner than ever. The newest installment is called Jersey Shore: Family Vacation. Set in Miami, it’s an in-depth look at the older, and not necessarily wiser, guido troupe we’ve come to love so much.

They’ve all come a long way since their humble beginnings at that tacky party house in Jersey. Snooki (Nicole Polizzi) and JWoww (Jennifer Farley) are both married with two children apiece. Deena Cortese, who actually uses her real name, is also married to her longtime boyfriend Christopher.

Vinny Guadagnino finally moved out of his mother’s house on Staten Island but bought a house down the street, as many good Italian boys do. Pauly D (Paul DelVecchio) is an accomplished DJ living the high life in Vegas. Ronnie Ortiz-Magro is also living in Vegas and just became a father after his babymamma Jen had his daughter.

Charged with tax evasion, The Situation (Michael Sorrentino) may be facing some serious jail time in the near future. But this month he hit his two-year sobriety mark and proposed to his girlfriend Lauren. Also, I’m pretty sure every single one of them has had some form of plastic surgery since we last saw them together in 2012.

So far, this season has been full of drama and cliffhangers. Snooki lost her wedding ring! Ronnie very well might have cheated on his girlfriend, the one who is bearing his child, with some random French chick he met at the bar! Not to mention that he admitted to still having feelings for Sammi (Samantha “Sweetheart” Giancola), whom you might remember from previous seasons of the show!

Sammi turned down the offer to join the gang on vacation, because she wanted to move past that part of her life. However, she’s been mentioned quite a bit.

Some other notable events:

  • Snooki fights with JWoww
  • Snooki fights with Vinny
  • Deena gets drunk and falls off a table
  • Vinny gets a bad haircut
  • Ronnie treats The Situation like garbage even though he was giving him good, honest advice
  • My boy Pauly D offers commentary on the whole thing

We’re all aware that the craze of Jersey Shore is an absurd premise that has caused the careers of an otherwise random collection of Italian partiers to skyrocket. I’m okay with that. I have other scholarly pursuits, such as attending the occasional Broadway play and reading an esteemed New York Times best seller, so I’ll allow myself some good old-fashioned Jersey Shore nonsense. The show makes me laugh and allows me to forget about the world for a while, and I’ll drink to that.

Jersey Shore: Family Reunion is on Thursday nights at 8pm on MTV.

About Author

Nice Girl extraordinaire, purveyor of all things Pittsburgh, firmly believes that Stephen Colbert should be president, finds the term “selfie” abhorrent, advocate for the appropriate application of alliteration.

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