I’ve been a comic book dork since I bought my very first X-Men and Silver Surfer comics when I was a kid. I read all of the greats pretty regularly, but one series I wasn’t into so much was The Avengers. There was way too much going on, and it gave me a headache.
Yes, I have seen all of the lead-up movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe and I knew the story arc, so I wasn’t stressed about not knowing what was happening. And to their credit, the filmmakers did enough stuff for the “lay people” to get up to speed. I even reviewed the comic book to refresh my memory.
I knew the movie wasn’t going to follow it exactly, so I went to see it with my usual “be prepared for anything” mindset. I had also seen reports that at least one person had passed out during the screening and needed an ambulance, like I Spit on Your Grave or Passion of the Christ, so I even brought smelling salts, just in case.
I didn’t pass out, but it gave me a headache, and not just because I saw it in 3D. Just like the comic book, there was just too much going on.
I couldn’t stay focused. There were many times where I was trying to remember what happened in six other previous films. Did Wolverine touch a stone? Did Aquaman have a stone in his trident? Stones, stones, stones.
Look, I liked it, but it didn’t knock my socks off. It’s the same feeling I got after being in a three-way. There were too many distractions to enjoy it. So get your dick out of my mouth and just get to the point and fuck me already. I’ve got shit to do.
Now, I can’t really say anything of substance about the film without giving away some part of the plot, and I absolutely hate when people write “spoiler alert” and then spill the beans for the sake of it. So I’ll do y’all a solid and tell you this – no matter if you’re a geek or a novice, go see the movie because I’ll bet you’ll like it and some of you will really get into it.
If you are a novice, you should probably watch all of the other Marvel films in order to understand what unfolds. The script has some interesting twists, the acting is about what you’d expect from a comic book movie, and the special effects were top notch. But if you get a headache, don’t say I didn’t warn you.