This brings a whole new meaning to, “the light of my life.” A British woman named Amanda Liberty, 33, is in an open relationship with her collection of chandeliers. Not that she’s one to play favorites with her non-living assortment of lighting, she is however engaged to one chandelier in particular. Lumiere is her wife-to-be and Liberty claims it was love at first site (eBay site that is). The online purchase cost her over $500 in shipping alone from Berlin. Liberty, who refers to Lumiere as “she” and never as an “it,” is a large, ornate, ninety-year-old chandelier. Don’t worry though, the age difference doesn’t affect their relationship one bit.

After a long courtship, Liberty decided to take things to the next level and proposed to Lumiere on Valentine’s Day. Lumiere blinked her bulbs twice for “yes.”

Though Liberty brings one of her younger, smaller models to bed with her for practical snuggling purposes, Lumiere still wears the coveted engagement ring on one of her dangling crystals.

As an Objectum-Sexual, a person who has sexual feelings for inanimate objects, this isn’t Liberty’s first rodeo. In fact, “Liberty” isn’t her real surname. In 2010, she legally changed her name to “Amanda Liberty” as a sign of her love and devotion to the Statue of Liberty. Now that is a serious light. Her torch is roughly 40 feet tall and radiates way more wattage than a little chandelier. Let’s hope this doesn’t spark any complexes pertaining beam-size magnitude. Lady Liberty herself has no comment and has declined my interview request.

At the end of the day, Amanda Liberty is just living her life. She loves her luminaries. What of it? As long as she’s not hurting anyone, I say keep that electrical current surging.

As of now, there is no date set for the wedding. I can’t help but wonder where they are registered. I’m thinking a boutique antique shop or Home Depot. Regardless, their love withstanding and with the assistance of a general electrician, their future looks bright.


About Author

Nice Girl extraordinaire, purveyor of all things Pittsburgh, firmly believes that Stephen Colbert should be president, finds the term “selfie” abhorrent, advocate for the appropriate application of alliteration.

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