Why pay $5,000 for a state-of-the-art, life-like sex doll when you can make one yourself using common household items? A man known only by the pseudonym “zeppelin_weapon” did just that. This pioneer of creepy craftsmanship took his overwhelming loneliness and despair into his own hands (literally and figuratively). He said, ‘To hell with your hi-tech sexy sex doll!’ and concocted his own femme-Frankenstein’s monster. From what I can tell, the innards are made of plastic grocery bags, skin made of papier mâché, and the head has interchangeable faces pulled from the pages of old Cosmo magazines. The accoutrement consists of a curly black wig you find on the floor of the clearance section at Ricky’s the day after Halloween and a pair of old-ass sneakers from the back of your closet. We suggest having some tape on hand in case of a last-minute tear during coitus. Don’t forget the lotion for slick, smooth entry! Put it all together and what have you got? Your very own disconcerting, DIY, fuckable mummy sex-doll.


About Author

Nice Girl extraordinaire, purveyor of all things Pittsburgh, firmly believes that Stephen Colbert should be president, finds the term “selfie” abhorrent, advocate for the appropriate application of alliteration.

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