By this point, I think I’ve got a decent idea of the direction Special Counsel Robert Mueller is taking his Russia investigation. It’s a game of cat and mouse – netting the minnows to catch the whale…the corpulent, bloated, KFC chomping, tangerine Moby Dick. So far, he’s got Manafort and Gates on money laundering, failure to file as foreign agents, and general nefarious hijinks. They’ve also got that little dweeb George Papadopolous for lying to the feds. Word on the street, is that they have enough to bring charges against ex-National Security Advisor Michael Flynn. He hasn’t landed a bullseye yet, but it’s obvious Mueller will lean on these muldoons to get them to flip on their former boss – a typical FBI tactic. To avoid a long hard stretch in the can, they’re all going to sing like Pavarotti in nipple clamps, there’s no doubt about that. What exactly they might spill is unclear. However, Flynn did say he had a story to tell. We’ll see about that. The burning question now is, what his next move will be. Well, I’ve got a few thoughts.
- The Trump Family. Earlier this week, Russian lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya offered to testify to the Senate Judiciary Committee about her infamous meeting with Donnie Jr. and Jared Kushner. As we all know by now, the meeting was set up to obtain dirt on Hillary Clinton. In a recent interview, Veselnitskaya stated that Trump Jr. offered to revisit sanctions against Russia in exchange for information on Clinton. So, we’ve got Donnie making some large promises – – there’s more meat on that bone. As for Kushner, well, he’s in it up to his scrotum. He goes back a long way with Russia in his business dealings. It’s a no brainer that Mueller is delving hard into his financial records and finding the connections. Moreover, there’s that small matter of Cambridge Analytica, a data mining firm Kushner brought in on the campaign that may have helped Russia target their social media assault. If Mueller can nab Kush and Jr., it’s a fair bet papa Trump’s demise won’t be far off.
- Donald Trump’s taxes. What’s he hiding in there, anyway? It’s a question of ample speculation. Is it that he’s not as rich as he says he is? Maybe. More likely, there’s evidence of a long relationship with the red state. After all, somebody’s been bailing him out of his failed deals all these years. If it turns out that he’s been in debt to the Kremlin, that, at the very least, provides motive – and a compromised presidency. Will Mueller subpoena his tax records? Has he already done so? We’ll soon find out.
- The pee pee tape. I think out of everything swirling around Donald, it’s that infamous pee pee tape he’s most worried about. He’s been hammering hard lately, claiming Hillary colluded with Russia to finance the juicy dossier which claims a host of allegations, including his pervy penchant for getting peed on by prostitutes. All of our intelligence verifies much of what’s in there, save the micturating hookers. What if it’s all true? This one’s the H-bomb. If Mueller pulls the pin on this baby, it’s game over.
- Jeff Sessions and Obstruction. Jeff Sessions has a hard time telling the truth when it comes to Russia. So far, he’s lied multiple times before the Senate Committee about his knowledge of meetings between Trump campaign associates and Kremlin agents. Did Trump strong arm him into firing Ex-FBI head James Comey to relieve the pressure of the investigation? If Mueller can prove that, it’s an impeachable offense. Sessions has recently come under fire for failing to disclose an offer by George Papadopolous to set up a meeting between Trump and Putin. Will Donald axe Sessions before Mueller can secure him on the hook? And if that happens, will another Attorney General, more loyal to the president, then fire Mueller? It’s a race against time!
- Wildcard. There’s always a possibility that final piece of the puzzle will come out of left field. Perhaps it’ll be some rogue Russkie looking for a buy off or maybe Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein will have a come to Hashem moment and spill his guts to the special counsel. It’s getting hotter and hotter in the kitchen, making it more and more likely that someone important to the case won’t be able to take the heat.