I truly do not understand how some men think or operate, especially when it comes to hitting on random women in public. I’ve been stared at, screamed at, sexually harassed, embarrassed, followed, chased, creeped up on, touched, groped, rubbed up against, you name it, I’ve endured it.  Why can’t men just say something nice and leave it be?

What really bakes my noodle is when a guy wearing a wedding ring or with another woman hits on me.

Here’s what happened to me the other day.  It was around 10 am in my local market and I was walking around the cereal aisle looking for some Count Chocula — don’t judge me. There’s a young black guy in his ‘20s, ambling about. He’s dressed in an oversized shirt and his ass is hanging out of his saggy jeans. It’s the ubiquitous Hip Hop drag. Something about him felt off, though… his energy was different. I knew something was up — my “Spidey senses” were tingling. He made sure to cross my path, giving me the once over twice. I just wanted my crappy cereal and to get the hell outta there. Then he starts running his mouth.

“Miss, Miss… ‘scue me, Miss!”

“Yes, how may I help you?”

“Ummmm, I just saw you walking in the store, I had to come in and I wante…”

“No.  I’ve seen you following me around in here, peeping around the aisles and staring at me for the past 10 minutes. Any reason why?”

“Ummmm, for real thooooo? I saw ‘dat ass and then…”

Stop talking,” I said, letting out a slight groan. “ Just please leave me alone — I’m not interested.”

“Oh, I see – you got a boyfriend? You married?  Where your man at?  He crazy to leave you alone out here…”

“I’m not asking again…get lost.”

“Okay, aiiight den you fat fucking bitch, don’t nobody want you no how!”

He skulked off.  I continued shopping.

About ten minutes later, I saw him in the checkout queue with his girlfriend/wife/baby mama and their three kids all under the age of 10. He’s holding her hand, kissing her – telling her how much he loves her while yelling at the kids at the same time.  I stood about 20 feet away, partially hidden by a soda machine and waited until they left. Why did he do that? Did he think I wouldn’t see him with his girlfriend/wife and the kids?

I tell you… I truly do not understand how some men think or operate, especially when it comes to hitting on random women in public.

About Author

Crystal C Durant

Crystal is today's black Renaissance woman. She lives in Harlem, is always up for a new experience, is a magnet for all kinds of crazy, and smells like fresh flowers.


  1. Sadly I witnessed a man hand his female companion money in the beauty supply store and then walk outside. Another woman saw the whole interaction. As soon as he said “scue me miss” she went right over to him. I was in shock. She appeared to be sane……….

  2. Seriously? WTF is wrong with people. Hopefully that woman sees that punk for who he really is.

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