I could never seriously date a Republican. I’ve tried a couple of times, but it never worked out. All the clichés and stereotypes about those people hold pretty true and I just can’t abide the abject ignorance. This isn’t to say that I’m some sort of gung-ho progressive, in fact I think there are far too many on the left that are altogether too preoccupied with identity politics and small-ball obsessions. It’s exclusionary and short-sighted and the primary reason why we never win elections anymore. Still, compared to the Right’s craven machinations and poisonous agenda – there’s simply no comparison.

I remember this one woman I dated, she was from the mid-west and had that corn-fed healthy looking, pull yourself up by the bootstraps thing going on. Her father was some kind of head ‘so and so’ in the Republican Party. She would always make disparaging remarks against blacks and Jews. The stuff she’d spew was just this total cartoon expectation of a conservative. At the same time though, she attempted to portray herself as edgy, cultivating this faux patina of downtown hipster. It was a thoroughly nauseating combo when coupled with her creationist beliefs and wingnut ideology. I think that’s what initially attracted her to me. She thought that I was that typical downtown guy, when in point of fact I’m actually quite the opposite. I’m an independent thinker, not some parrot brained Williamsburg dipsydoodle. Basically, I’m a militant realist and seeker of truth… some might call it being an official pain in the ass but I don’t see it that way.

Needless to say, that relationship didn’t last long.

It’s interesting to think about – the importance of someone’s politics as a factor when seeking a partner. Is it really so necessary to be on the same side? Some say no… Case in point James Carville and Mary Matalin, two people that couldn’t be further away from each other as far as politics are concerned and yet they’ve been holding it together for decades of marriage. I have no idea how they do it. I once broke up with someone because they hated Bob Dylan. Of course, I’m a pretty intolerant bastard, truth be told.

I suppose it’s all about “us” and “them” and never the twain shall meet. That’s the basic question I think, as far as relationships go. Can “us” ever truly get along with “them”?

It’s a new world order, we are no longer defined solely by race or religion. We’re all far more specific in how we see ourselves and others. There are millions of boxes to be checked…It’s wearying, to say the least.

Still and all, I could never date a Republican.

Funny though, in today’s hipster circles, I could totally see a trend spring up where it would be totally ironic – in a supposedly cool way – to date someone outside of their political affiliation…kind of like wearing an Air Supply T-shirt.

It’s thoughts like these that make me wanna go and take a dump.

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