We here at The Z Review are a diverse bunch, but one thing we all have in common is our penchant for pontification. Basically, we’re a collective of opinionated loudmouths and we’re all perfectly fine with that. So, to indulge this common need to bloviate, every week or so we will allow ourselves free reign to share our thoughts on a question suggested by you…our devoted and loving audience. This week’s question returns to the subject of those pesky North Koreans – the perpetual sword of Damocles hanging over our head. A month ago, we discussed whether a war was inevitable…now it seems like that’s all anyone’s talking about.
Will Trump Bomb North Korea?
We start off the proceedings with The Z Review’s head honcho, big kahuna and site president, the lovely, talented and still aggressively British…Paul Dettman.
Trump might feel he needs to bomb North Korea, but I don’t think he will fire first. He absolutely will not use any nuclear weapons. He may choose to see if the Guam assault happens. The most likely outcome from DPRK attempting to drop bombs close to Guam is that they will completely miss. Then Trump can have a very public chuckle and announce that he doesn’t regard such primitive weaponry as much of a threat.
If on the other hand, Korea gets lucky and one or more of its four (just four!) bombs hits the target, then Trump will have no choice but to use cruise missiles against selected military sites. No cause for alarm, and no risk of a true war.
Z Editor-in-Chief — Jessica Dorfman Jones
I think Trump’s got itchy little fingers. I think he wants to know what it would be like to push the big red button. I think Trump want to show Kim Jong Un (and anyone else who’s paying attention) that his micro-penis does, in some sad way, function.
But Trump has shown that along with the malady of his micro-penis, he has no balls. Trump is a cowardly liar, full of fire and fury signifying nothing. He has consistently hidden behind his staff to deflect shots taken at him about his own errors. He has thrown his own family members under the bus so he doesn’t look like he’s done anything “bad.” He has never taken responsibility for a single one of his actions, neither in business nor while in the Blight House.
Would such a fearful egotist take the risk of being the one to cause major damage and millions of deaths? Common sense says no. Clearly, common sense isn’t Trump’s strong suit, but he is a creature of habit. I hope I’m not wrong.
I also hope that if Trumpty Dumpty does indeed manage to get his sticky mitts on anything that can launch a weapon (that includes a bow and arrow), General Kelly does his job. I hope that Kelly will throw himself into the fray and keep codes from being entered, as well as buttons from being pressed.
Kelly knows how the military works and how much destruction Donald is capable of. I’m praying he’s the one good decision Trump has made.
Z Editorial Director – Olivier Doinel
Well, it seems that Kim Jong Un has already traipsed over Donald’s red line. Apparently the possibility of ‘fire and fury the likes of which the world has never seen’ was not enough of a deterrent to prevent him from his continued threats…most recently about tossing a few missiles Guam’s way. I think if that does happen, then god only knows what our reaction will be. I suppose it will depend on whether any Guamans were hurt in the process. Either way, if Kim Jong fuckface does follow through on any level, there will be repercussions.
The reality is, we’ve got two buffoons with their fingers on the big red button, so it’s hard to predict how it’s all going to wrap up. I do know one thing – Trump is desperate for a distraction from Russia. As Robert Mueller gets closer and closer to the smoking gun, our dear leader is getting agitated to the point of palsy. Could he be so solipsistic to sacrifice global stability for his own sorry ass? Yes…yes I believe he could.
Z Staff Writer — Daniel Bukzspan
It is essential to my survival and sanity that I answer this with a big “no,” even though I have no evidence to back up that assertion. If I’m right, it’s not because he has judiciously weighed the pros and cons of a tactical nuclear strike and decided that the cost in human lives isn’t worth it. It’s because he’s completely full of shit and just kind of says stuff, even “fire and fury” stuff, and then completely forgets it ever happened. So if the human race is spared this type of conflict, you can thank Trump’s dishonesty and cowardice.
Z Staff Writer — Crystal C. Durant
Lordy, I obviously hope not. Every damned day I wake up and am afraid of what I’m going to see on the news. The video of him making that ridiculous bombastic statement reminded me of a cartoon villain…only the cartoon villain is more articulate.
I’m hoping he’s not that stupid.
There needs to be a childproof cap on ‘the button’, so his tiny hands will be rendered useless. Will those clowns surrounding him talk sense to him, or are they just as stupid, or are they the ones who have a hard-on to do it? What’s Bannon up to? What does Pence think?
WAY TO GO AMERICA, YOU ASSHOLE!
Z Staff Writer – Reuben Levy
I think he’s just crazy enough to do it. If Kim Jong Un fires missiles at Guam, then it’s assured we will bomb them in retaliation. Trump is a loose cannon. He’s proven time and time again that he doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing, that he’s singularly unqualified to be president. His whole ‘fire and fury’ blather was a complete ad-lib. It’s his modus operandi…these sorts of random brain farts. So far, it’s all been talk. But, I dunno. The Russia investigation is getting to him. A nuclear holocaust would certainly switch the conversation.