It’s yonks since we had a really good egg scare. Not since 1988 have we had to worry about the stuff coming out of chicken’s bums. But now, thanks to the Netherlands and the EU, we can relive those happy days.

It turns out that it’s not only 20,000 of our 10 billion annual eggs that are polluted, but a stomach churning 700,000. Quite how so many zeroes got lost in translation is unbelievable. It’s a police matter now, as it should be. The Dutch were tipped off by a whistle-blower back in November 2016 and have proven singularly incompetent. The poison is still lapping around the chicken sheds of Holland to this day. And now it’s got into the eggs, which have been driven all around Europe.

But take heart! In the UK, the eggs were only used in processed foods, not sold as actual eggs in actual shops. Only in sandwich fillings for kids, apparently. So we’re all safe. As you were.


About Author

P. C. Dettmann is the London bureau chief and contributing editor at The Z Review. Born in Hull, living in London, he is the author of Locksley: A New Spy, Ernest Zevon, and as Paul Charles, From Beyond Belief and Kicking Tin. He indulges his love of espionage by running spy tours for Airbnb.

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