Warning: this is very dry. If you want a financial return of thousands of percent, don’t have a permanent address or a bank account, read on. Yes, this can only be another bitcoin special.

Yesterday marked the unheralded arrival of a new global bitcoin phenomenon. Known by the absolutely original name Bitcoin Cash this is utterly unlike the better known Bitcoin in very many ways. In all the other ways, it remains resolutely identical.

The first difference is its value. And yes, the value of boring old bitcoin did drop yesterday, but only for a bit. And for complex reasons that have nothing to do with the currency being split down the middle. When they do that with shares, the shares halve in value. Not so with bitcoin. Stick with us.

Bitcoin is trading at around $2,700, compared to the new version, Bitcoin Cash, which has already hit $400 within a few hours. Lord knows why the two numbers are so far apart. We’ll try to help, if we can.

Bitcoin, like all technojunk, has a somewhat limited shelf life. It was designed to make it very hard for computers to generate more bitcoin. The more expensive your computer, and the faster it runs, the more quickly it can make additional bitcoin. Thing is, computers are doubling  in speed every week or two. So it was inevitable that bitcoin would hit the skids. It is now just a little too easy to make.

This causes issues. The easier it is to make, the lower its value. So if too many people cotton on to just how easy it is to make more bitcoin, there could be a glut. The price would collapse. And, bearing in mind that the future of western civilization depends on bitcoin being a success, this would not be good.

What? You thought this was some arcane fintech bollocks did you? Today’s fintech is tomorrow’s bread and butter. You don’t need a bank to trade bitcoin, so it is being touted as the future foundation for our entire capitalist system. If we have no banks, they cannot crash, you see? Good. That won’t happen, by the way. The bit about the banks disappearing.

Another issue, if it is too easy to make bitcoin, is that the underpinning blockchain will be inundated with updates and will collapse in on itself. Old-style bitcoin can only stand to have one megabyte (1 MB) of guff added every ten minutes. And as you fully know, 1 MB is bugger all these days.

Step forwards: a split in the blockchain, and a new currency.

This new bitcoin can stand 8 MB to be added every ten minutes. And if that wasn’t innovative enough, it is far, far harder to make more. Which means fewer will try. Which means the 8 MB limit will take a lot longer to run its course. Which is great news for you bitcoin fans.

You now have two ways to make a tax-free untraceable fortune. Go forth!

About Author

P. C. Dettmann is the London bureau chief and contributing editor at The Z Review. Born in Hull, living in London, he is the author of Locksley: A New Spy, Ernest Zevon, and as Paul Charles, From Beyond Belief and Kicking Tin. He indulges his love of espionage by running spy tours for Airbnb.

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