Is it my birthday?! Do I get cake with my present? Oh, wait, no, it’s August 1st.  I have another seven months to go before I can lock myself in the bathroom and sob, eat an entire cake, get shitfaced, and demand gifts from all I encounter.  Nonetheless, here we are starting a brand-new month with a gift from the gods to me and everyone else who knows the difference between right and wrong, and which shoe goes on which foot.

Finally, the arrogant fuckwits (Sean Hannity, Fox News, Trumpty-Dumpty, whoever’s communications director today, and so on) who have been running amok with their hair on fire, insisting that El Orange Jefe is clean is a whistle in all ways, but specifically regarding all things Russian) have been debunked. What makes it even better is that the Puerile President himself coined the phrase for what may finally be the smoking gun that takes him down.  I don’t care that it’s smoking gun #27 or so. I sincerely believe that THIS is the one that counts.  What’s this all about? It’s all about…..FAKE NEWS!


And now everybody knows Trump and his band of fools did it, and that there aren’t enough shiny objects on earth to use as yet another distraction. Definitely not for the very quiet Mr. Mueller.

Here’s what the White House Wankers said: A 27 year-old aide who works for the DNC was killed (presumably by a cabal of crazed Democrats) because HE was the one supplying wikileaks with damaging information about Hillary, which is what made her lose the election.

You know how I love breaking shit down to the basics so the truth is easy to see. Today is not an exception.  Here’s how disgusting the oompa-loompa-in-chief and his gang of thugs are, and what they did:

  • A 27 year-old DNC aide was killed, unrelated to anything happening on the Hill.
  • Trump and his team spend every day trying to find new ways to deny or distract from the incontrovertible fact that Trump worked with Putin to rig the election and gave vital political information to the Russian government
  • This poor DNC aide’s death happened at just the right time and in the just right place for the White House to use it as another wild yarn about how there’s no way the Russian government hacked the election.
  • The White House used an innocent kid’s death in a craven attempt to create what those idiots thought was a plausible story (see above).
  • The White House fed the information to trusty Fox News, which has been a reliable mouth-piece for Trump whenever he wants to get something into the media.
  • As planned, Fox News reported that the kid was responsible for the downfall of democracy.
  • Sean Hannity, whose mouth seems to be Trump’s cock-holster, was responsible for fine-tuning the “alternative narrative” and substantiating it as a true, fact-checked story.
  • Fox News, now no longer under Roger Ailes’ “Never admit you’re wrong” stranglehold, LISTENED TO THE KID’S FAMILY AND RETRACTED THE STORY AS NOT MEETING ITS EDITORIAL STANDARDS, i.e. Fox News finally admitted to disseminating Trump bullshit propaganda and that the party is over.
  • With the ONLY news source that would bend over for him pulling its pants up and scurrying away, Trump is left holding the bag. A leaking, filthy, stinking bag of incriminating lies. Ergo, we’ve got a smoking gun of intentional deception.

Here’s what the Blight House has done to pathetically make the stinking bag/smoking gun go away: they’ve made this a story about Fox News. Here’s how this has gone down:

  • Fox is finally trying to be a reliable news source
  • Sean Hannity, who is still on Fox, has no such aspirations
  • Sean Hannity has openly admitted his allegiance to Trump
  • Sean Hannity has been pumping the John Grisham bullshit of the rogue DNC aide down conservatives’ throats.
  • They’ve been swallowing.
  • Trump’s media puppet Sean Hannity has gone rogue. This did not happen accidentally
  • More of the same with Newt Gingrich
  • The post-Ailes in-fighting at the notoriously conservative news channel is so nutty (Hannity, on air, proclaimed that he is not in agreement with Fox News’ repudiation of the Rogue Aide theory, and doesn’t even really see himself as part of the news organization) that it is, indeed, attention grabbing.
  • Sean Hannity going rogue has become news, because now the people who report (or recite) the news are considered news.
  • In the blink of an eye, the focus has shifted from Trump’s living in Russia House to whether or not Sean Hannity will stay on the air and what will happen to the now rapist-free network.

What do the clear, concise bullet-points above add up to?

  • Trump intentionally fed false information with the intent to protect his dictatorship/presidency. THAT’S CALLED PROPAGANDA.
  • Trump did it in cahoots with a major media source, specifically Sean Hannity. THAT’S CALLED COLLUSION.
  • Collusion is treasonous
  • Sean Hannity has, for the sake of his good buddy Donny, hoisted himself on his own petard
  • He will be rewarded by the Trump administration for doing so.

If you want a preview of what comes next, rent Evita, learn what a dictatorship is, and get a glimpse of Madonna before she became the crypt-keeper.

Come on people, if the revolution is gonna be televised, we need a fucking revolution.  Where’s Bernie Sanders now, Berners?  Hanging out at Ben & Jerry’s Vermont factory, begging to have a flavor named after him?

All you Berners were so hot to trot.  This is your moment.  Does it matter if Bernie is leading the charge?  If it is, you never had true courage of your convictions.  You had an idol.

For Gods’ sake, you lefty do-nothings, if you need an idol so badly get excited about Justin Bieber and forget politics.  You didn’t understand it to begin wit

About Author

Lawyer, literary agent, book packager, film producer, writer, New Yorker. Likes long walks on the beach and little dogs. Hates mean people and when the pharmacy runs out of Klonopin.

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