I hate to admit it, but Trump’s presidency has provided a few upsides, mostly comedic. We’ve had Melissa McCarthy’s Sean Spicer, Alec Baldwin’s Trump, and The Mooch as himself. But that’s not all! Comedy gold is being delivered daily by Congressmen across the land. Mostly, they’re using double-talk to get the yucks. You know what double-talk is…it’s what Abbot and Costello did with “Who’s On First?” It’s what Groucho Marx did in, well, everything he did (“This bill is an outrage! If I were you I wouldn’t pay it!) It’s a classic vaudeville act wherein the speaker tells his audience what seems like a reasonable story, but turns everything around with a few choice words every now and then to confuse listeners to hilarious effect.
You know what’s even funnier? When the person who’s double-talking is too stupid to know, or care, he’s doing it. There are so many contenders to choose from, but there’s a clear winner today:
Senator John Kennedy, Republican of Louisiana, said: “I don’t think anybody ought to do anything to hurt the American people. Obamacare is not working. It’s bad enough on its own. Until we can get the thing fixed, I think we have to try to maintain the status quo.”
Let’s break Kennedy’s statement down to the basic vaudeville elements:
Part I – The set-up – “I don’t think anybody ought to do anything to hurt the American people. Obamacare is not working.” (i.e. – Obamacare is hurting the American people and, in my capacity as Senator, want to be clear that it is a BAD situation. I also want to be clear that I am wholly against Obamacare.”)
Part II – The punch line – “Until we can get the thing fixed, I think we have to try to maintain the status quo.” (i.e., You know that BAD thing I just mentioned? The BAD thing that shouldn’t exist? I’m all for it!)
If that isn’t classic slapstick double-talk, I don’t know what is.
Even though he’s obviously retarded, don’t be too hard on Senator Kennedy. He has given us the gift of laughter today. Not only that, but it comes to us at his expense.
Thank you, Senator Kennedy. You’re an American hero, keeping spirits aloft and hopes alive during these darkest of days.