Again, the ‘breast is best’ mafia are in all the British media. They crawl out every year or so, proving two things: one, they will write anything in August and two, the British media are all in league with each other, and the devil. If you were expecting this to be a close analysis of whether tits beat bums, you’re in the wrong place. We’re talking about feeding babies here.

Everyone states very confidently that the World Health Organization (WHO) advocates breastfeeding in all cases, for at least 6 months. The reason everyone is so confident is that this is true. But it’s not the whole truth. We lift the lid on this claptrap.

What nobody mentions is that they go further than this: officially, you are supposed to sup from the tit for 24 months. Your first two years on earth! This means there are toddlers walking around who should be hanging off mummy’s boobies. Imagine having twins. This milk should be administered on demand at any time of the day or night by mummy. Daddy is biologically, chemically and physically excluded.

Milk, claims the WHO, really is a miracle food that can make you into a rocket scientist overnight, and cut infant mortality. It can prevent diarrhoea and pneumonia, the two primary causes of child mortality worldwide. The key here, and where the WHO immediately excludes itself from rational debate, is worldwide.

Yes folks, this advice is for the third world. In the UK, cancer and your nervous system will kill you first. I have not heard of a single death due to infant diarrhoea in the UK. And you can bet such a story would be on the news. And no, milk does not cure cancer or any of the other western diseases. Period. It is time to stop bashing the mummies. Let their tits rest in peace.

Luckily, and cutting through all this crap, comes Guardian mummy Lizzy Davies. We really found her account compelling, based as it is on actually being a mother. There are two sides to every story, and this is a western mum talking about her own personal experiences. No WHO selective statistics required to figure out that if men could breastfeed, precisely zero would.

Milk can cure all ills and make you intelligent, sez WHO? You’re not going to fall for that next August, are you?

Lizzy Davies in The UK Guardian: Dont infantilise pregnant women

In 2015 in the UK, 30 children under the age of 5 died from diarrhoea-related illness. The number is not broken down into age groups. For comparison, there were 2,578 infant deaths (deaths under 1 year) in England and Wales in 2015, compared with 2,517 in 2014 and 6,141 in 1985.

About Author

P. C. Dettmann is the London bureau chief and contributing editor at The Z Review. Born in Hull, living in London, he is the author of Locksley: A New Spy, Ernest Zevon, and as Paul Charles, From Beyond Belief and Kicking Tin. He indulges his love of espionage by running spy tours for Airbnb.

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