Okay.

If I was decidedly underwhelmed by last week’s episode, I’m actively irritated by tonight’s debacle. Come on David! Episode 10 of The Return felt like an unwanted detour from the road trip to go check out the second largest ball of twine on the face of the earth. It was a tedious effort, offering only an incremental advancement of the plot and the pacing, once again, put the slug in sluggish. Criminy, we’re past the half-way mark already! At this point we should be on our way somewhere, but instead, it just feels like a whole lot of contrived quirk and belabored absurdity.

So, what happened tonight? Well, Richard Horne is still a psycho. He offed the pie-loving witness to his hit and run. He also beat up on his grandmother and terrorized his uncle. Dr. Jacoby ranted on the radio – while his biggest fan, the ever irritating Nadine, swooned. And Real Coop/Dougie is still in his fugue state, which at this point is far past the point of untenable. At least he got laid – good for him. His wife Janey-E abandoned her inner harridan and jumped on his Johnson. Whoopty friggin’ do. Aside from Real Coop/Dougie’s good fortune, this installment largely revolved around casino owners, Rodney and Bradley Mitchum or as they’re referred to in the episode – the Mitchum brothers. Ably played by Robert Knepper and Jim Belushi respectively, they are led to believe by Anthony Sinclair (Tom Sizemore) that Dougie Jones has screwed them out of $30 million dollars. Sinclair was ordered by Duncan Todd (Patrick Fischler) to give them this information so that the brothers will off Dougie. I’m assuming this all has to do with Doppelganger Coop, who we know has something over Todd.

Jeebus mamaloocha, it’s all gotten so dull and convoluted.

I hate to say it, but The Return has stalled…stalled on the detour to go see the second largest ball of twine. What began as a fresh, darker take on the original series has devolved into what I can only describe as a disappointing season two banality – DIANE KEATON level of season two. How did we get here, exactly?

(un) noteworthy notables

  • Hawk receives a message from the Log Lady – “Laura is the one. The glow is dying. What will be in the darkness that remains?”
  • Harry Dean Stanton sings “Red River Valley”…he sure has a pretty singing voice.
  • Jim Belushi stole the show tonight. He has a great comic timing and is always fun to watch.
  • Lynch is still boring us with the closing musical performances. The bore-er du jour was Rebekah Del Rio – the chick who sang “Llorando” in Mulholland Drive. She looked great though.
  • Rosenfeld went on a date with the morgue woman. They seemed to have a good time.

The biggest reveal of the night came when Rosenfeld told Gordon that Diane received a text from Doppelganger Coop. So they’ve been tracking her. What it all means is anybody’s guess.

Overall, another subpar effort. I seriously hope we get a more compelling episode next week, because tonight’s was – to use the parlance of our times – a big nothing burger.

5.5 subpar

What began as a fresh, darker take on the original series has devolved into what I can only describe as a disappointing season two banality – DIANE KEATON level of season two. How did we get here, exactly?

  • 5.5
  • User Ratings (3 Votes) 8.4
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Lives in Manhattan around the corner from a diner which serves poisonous tuna melts and adequate java. My dissections, commentaries, and occasional rantings have been published by a wide range of online sites, pulpy outposts, and fugitive rags.

3 Comments

  1. How can anybody say that ” Lynch is still boring us with the closing musical performances. ” ???
    tired of this shit . Fuck off you losers .
    You know nothing about Lynch

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