Here’s a quick joke:

Q: “What do the LA movie industry and Republican members of the House have in common?” A: “Their only job is to keep their jobs.”

You don’t think that’s a funny joke? Neither do I. Yet here we are with this unavoidable similarity staring us in the face. Let’s break it down.

If you’ve ever had dealings with any studio or production company in LA, you have probably come to understand why it’s so hard to give a movie or TV show a green light. It isn’t because the material being shopped around is so shitty. It’s because any decision a particular executive makes to spend money on a project could very well be his or her last. You lose studio money, you’re out; ergo, make no decisions!  All the little movie folk wandering around LA are not looking for the next big thing.  They’re looking for a way to look productive but do nothing.  That industry is almost completely populated by students of the George Costanza school of business practice.

How is this mirrored by Republican representatives at this particular moment in our nation’s history? Rather than green light a potentially (definitely) good decision for American citizens (impeaching Trump and sending his merry band of fuckwits to jail), these assholes are making sure they don’t get caught having an opinion, much less take action.  Why would they knowingly get in the way of such a vital move for our country?  Why would these reps work to keep our absurd status quo while they keep their heads as far down as possible?  Same as the fearful little people of Tinseltown (like D.C, LA is a city dedicated to only one pursuit i.e. few job options if you blow what you’ve got).  They want to keep their jobs.

That’s it.  That’s all folks. As we scratch our heads wondering, “What will it take for people to finally turn on Trump?  Why is he Teflon?”, we’re missing the point.  Trump is not the pointYour (Republican) representatives are the point.

We are not seeing any reaction on the hill to Mr. Ass-Grab (wonder how President Macron is feeling about his new bestie now) because a bunch of men (let’s face it…this is really mostly about white middle-aged men) HAVE NO USEFUL JOB QUALIFICATIONS AND WOULD BE IN THE SAME FINANCIAL DEEP SHIT AS THE REST OF THE COUNTRY IF THEY LOST THEIR JOBS.

As if I had to look for any more reasons to throw up, I recently read the Gallup polls about Trump’s approval rating amongst super-conservative Republicans.  I couldn’t and can’t get over the news.  TRUMP HAS 90% APPROVAL RATING FROM HARD CORE CONSERVATIVE VOTERS.

I’ve been pacifying myself with the knowledge that, nationwide, the Creature’s approval rating has been hovering around 35%, a statistic that shows the general public has been able to keep it together in the face of madness.  That may be so, but right now, the general public is of no consequence. The only voters whose voices matter are the tiny number of hyper-conservative Republican voters who bother to vote for anything less attention-grabbing than president.  That’s right…all the leathery survivors in the Sunshine State who have nothing better to do in their retirement than bitch, recall the good ol’ days, and participate in any local activity that will let them in the door are determining the nation’s fate. Brexit, anyone?

Why do these people matter so much?  They don’t.  They have no inherent, intrinsic value.  Their only value is to the republican party, because these Medicaid/Medicare recipients have nothing better to do than voice their fearful, uneducated, xenophobic views to GOP contenders.  And those contenders are happy to jerk these unwashed, uneducated masses off to get their vote.  THEIR VOTE THAT REPRESENTS A SLIM PERCENTAGE OF VOTERS IN THEIR AREA, BUT BECOMES BIGLY IMPORTANT BECAUSE THEIR FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS ARE TOO APATHETIC TO VOTE.

And if you’re a democrat, don’t think you’re getting off the hook so easily.  GOP reps have a good chance of continuing to keep their jobs because it’s primarily their constituency that will show up on voting day.  If you’re a Democrat, you’re probably feeling low, let down, disillusioned, helpless, and possibly like you’d like to throttle Bernie Sanders and his Berners.  I know I do.  I feel that way because Bernie lowered the number of people who voted for Hillary (who, if you don’t like her, at least isn’t…well…Trump) and blew it for our country in so many ways; and all those bad, sad feelings Democrats have right now are the result of the Bernie Sanders Effect. The BSE sounds like this, “Well, if I can’t have exactly what I want, why bother trying? I’m taking a stand by protesting through not voting.” If you happen to have or know a toddler, you’re likely familiar with that sentiment.

The thing is, you can have what you want. If you show the fuck up, you bunch of whiners. Because even half of the Democratic voters in any of the states where Trump gets a 90% approval rating from the voting, hard-core dumb-dumbs IS A LARGER NUMBER OF VOTERS THAN THE “WEREN’T THE GOOD OL’ DAYS WHEN WE COULD TURN DOGS ON JEWS AND BLACKS GREAT?” CROWD THAT THE REPUBLICAN CONTENDERS ARE COUNTING ON.

Here are a few questions to ask yourselves as the 2018 elections creep their way into reality:

  • Do I have a job?
  • If I do have a job, am I making enough to support myself and/or my family?
  • What’s more important to me, having a decent job or making sure that a smarmy, self-serving wanker keeps his (or her) job on the Hill?
  • Do I want to reward the people who I voted to serve my interests by letting them keep their jobs even though they don’t serve my interests? If for no other reason than they are wantonly depriving me and my inner circle of health care?

If you practice law or have ever been the victim or perpetrator of a crime, you will recognize that these are leading questions.  Normally, leading questions are asked to get a predetermined outcome from the person being questioned.

In this very special case, there is no way to address the issue of keeping members of the House securely in their jobs without asking leading questions, because they’re the only available and relevant questions. Just because the answers are obvious doesn’t mean they’ve been arrived at in a devious manner.  Sometimes the most straightforward answer really is the answer.

That’s a concept Mr. Mueller is likely having a lot of fun with right now, but that’s for another day.

Let’s bring this back around to the movie biz.  Think of all those worthless suits eating lunch at The Palm and driving their Teslas around the Hollywood hills.  Do you like the idea that these do-nothing people have what they want because they know how to work (and work inside) the system?

I think not.  So how is that different from your state representatives?  Should they drive their BMWs to their houses in Georgetown because they know how to work the system, part of which is pandering to a tiny constituency by doing nothing? Do you like that idea?

I’m thinking you don’t.  I’m thinking that if you all want Trump out so badly (35% approval rating means 65% disapproval rating) you should not only consider not voting because everything is so sucky, but that you have to vote. And you have to vote “no” to these disingenuous job-seekers and their puppet king.

If you don’t, unqualified Americans will be employed in droves.  And you won’t be one of them.

About Author

Lawyer, literary agent, book packager, film producer, writer, New Yorker. Likes long walks on the beach and little dogs. Hates mean people and when the pharmacy runs out of Klonopin.

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