Making his first appearance in over a week, White House Press Secretary Sean “Eggman” Spicer greeted the media with a whole lot of nothing. Whether asked about Trump believing Russia hacked the election or the existence of Oval Office secret tapes, time and time Eggman had the same response – I’ll get back to you later…goo goo g’joob.

There’ve been a lot of speculation around Spicer’s recent absence…Bannon says it was because he gained weight…other reports claim he is searching for his own replacement. One thing is clear, these press briefings are about as useful as a wicker piss bucket.

Since he took office the President has taken on an adversarial role against the press, calling the mainstream media ‘fake news’ and elevating whackjob outposts like Breitbart News and InfoWars to Gray Lady status. With the escalation of the Russian investigation, it seems Trump is pulling down the shudders and hiding under his desk.

CNN’s Jim Acosta has been vocal about what he calls a suppression of information at the White House, but the rest of those spineless jellyfish in the pit seem to be perfectly fine with the blatant obfuscation.

Our dear leader is running scared. Branding the media ‘fake news’ might play to his base, but ultimately it’s going to come right back and bite him on his tangerine tuchas. He’s managed to evade a ‘you sunk my battleship’ moment thus far…but antagonizing the press, will only incentivize them to come up with the dirt.

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