We here at the Z Review aren’t big into celebrity reporting; unless we’re actually sharing our legitimate commentary on the work of artists, we’d just as well leave the gossip up to the TMZs of the world. Truth is, we’ve got bigger fish to fry — mainly the bloated carp currently taking up space in the oval office. Besides, we’d like to think our audience is far too elevated for such vapid offerings. All this being said, we do understand the entertainment value of a good bathroom read. So, for those of you that bring your phones into the can, here are a collection of mindless links you can swipe through ‘til you wipe poo.

Patton Oswalt introduces new girlfriend on social media

After a long and storied period of mourning over his deceased wife, Oswalt moves on with Meredith Salenger…of Dream a Little Dream fame. Damn, good for him. I had the major cutes for her when I was a kid.

Caitlyn Jenner says liberals can’t shoot straight.

Lucky for her, liberals are fantastic at gender reassignment surgery.

Jared Leto is definitely a vampire

Jeebus mamaloocha… will this guy ever freaking age? There’s gotta be a decaying picture of him somewhere in his attic.

Chrissy Teigen makes us all barf talking about her sex life with Blando McEgghead

Who the hell is this person’s publicist? How is her bloated punim a constant presence on the internet?

Miles Teller got wasted and jailed…not bailed

Does this guy have the bitchiest little punk face or what?

Lorde and Taylor

Lorde compares Taylor to a disease…or to having one… or… I dunno. I just liked that pun – Lord and Taylor….get it? The department store? Sigh.

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About Author

I’m a writer/editor with a penchant for saddle shoes, pontification and fried pork rinds. Equal parts gadfly, cut-up, provocateur, philosopher, and silly-willy. My personal heroes include Reggie Jackson, Elvis Costello and Philip Roth.

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